Journal of Family Issues. Volume 29 Number 9. September, Applied Developmental Science, 11 4 , ; Black, M. Child Development, 70 4 , McLanahan, and Jeanne Brooks-Gunn. Extended Abstract. Center for Research on Child Wellbeing. Furstenberg, and Jeremy K. In no particular order:.
Being there through thick and thin. This is not just being present and correct. Being curious and attentive requires us to put our distractions to one side. Showing compassion, hope and belief when our child needs it most. Compassion is a state of mind or attitude that really helps us to feel connected and close to the human experience of being a child. Valuing is similar to validating our partner for who they are with all their imperfections. Showing love and respect requires action, not just thoughts, and teaches our sons and daughters how to be treated.
Listening empathically in order to be understanding, present and engaged. Putting ourselves into the shoes of others enables them to feel heard, respected and valued. If you always seem too busy for your children, they will feel neglected no matter what you say. Treasuring children often means sacrificing other things, but it is essential to spend time with your children.
Kids grow up so quickly. Missed opportunities are lost forever. Need ideas for how to spend your time? Here are 7 Ways to Connect with Your Kids. All too often the only time a father speaks to his children is when they are getting in trouble. That's why many children may cringe when their mother says, "Your father wants to talk with you. Listening helps them feel respected and understood. Begin listening and talking with your kids when they are young so that difficult subjects will be easier to handle as they get older.
All children need guidance and discipline, not as punishment, but to set reasonable limits. Remind your children of the consequences of their actions and provide meaningful rewards for desirable behavior. Fathers who discipline in a calm and fair manner show love to their children.
Fathers are role models to their kids, whether they realize it or not. A girl who spends time with a loving father grows up knowing she deserves to be treated with respect by boys, and what to look for in a husband. Fathers can teach sons what is important in life by demonstrating honesty, humility, and responsibility.
Here's a great example of a role model dad in case you need one. Make him understand the changes in his body, talk about the sexual urges he might have, explain the relationship that he should have with women and how he should behave with them. Do not hesitate to apologize to your wife, your kids or anybody else. Remember, you son is watching you, and he will emulate you. Let him learn that it is OK to be wrong sometimes and it is not a taboo.
Love and respect your partner. Your son will know that he needs to respect women. Above all, he will respect his mother and understands that he needs to listen to his mother as much as he listens to you. Being a man, you can understand your son well, and empathize with him. You know what he is going through as a child or a teenager or a grown up man.
However, with daughters it is different. You need to make an effort to put yourself in her shoes, and that is not easy. Fathers have an ability to influence the lives of their daughters — either positively or negatively. How a dad behaves with his daughter will decide how she thinks of herself and how she expects to be treated by other men in her life.
Girls need the following intangibles from their fathers:. Give her what she deserves. A dad plays a big role in how a girl feels about herself. She is less likely to look out for approval of others to develop her self-esteem and self-image. An important attribute a girl needs to have is respect for her father as it is healthy for her in all areas of life.
Your daughter will abide by your boundaries if she respects you. If you try to force her through fear or pressure, she will rebel and you will lose influence on her. When she comes to you with her problem do not brush it off or tell her to go to her mother. Listen to her, if she wants advice from you, give it to her.
Talk about strong women so that she will aspire to be one of them someday. Boys tend to be more physically active than girls. However, make your daughter take up some physical activities. This will make her physically and mentally strong. One of the effective ways to treat or prevent eating disorders in girls is to have them spend time exercising or playing outdoors.
Give her company and let her be physically active. Meaningful and affectionate dialogue with your daughter is evidence that she is worthy, secure and loved. Talk to her just like you talk to your son. However, the topics of conversation might change. You might want to have a better insight into her mind, understand her feelings and her thoughts. When you love and respect your wife, your daughter will develop respect for you.
She will appreciate the fact that you know how to treat women. It gives her an idea of what kind of men she needs to be with when she is mingling with boys in her school and college. The role of a stepfather is tricky as you may worry about not having fatherly feelings for the kid.
What is important, though, is to think about how to create a caring, friendly and loving environment. Children may blame their stepfather for having pushed out their birth father from their lives.
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