They change and mature as we become preteens, teenagers, and adults. A crush is a word used to describe special feelings you have for another person, a classmate, or friend that you really like. Noticing your first crush is an exciting time in life because you're beginning to understand how it feels to like another person — a lot! Sometimes, feelings for a crush can be confusing because they're new to you and you aren't sure how to act. You could have mixed feelings. When you see your crush, a part of you might feel embarrassed and you might want to run away and hide.
Another part of you might imagine your crush noticing you and sharing the same feelings. Crushes are a little bit like the romantic love adults feel toward one another. And in a way, a crush can help us think about the kind of person that we want to love when we grow up. They help us understand which qualities we notice and like in another person — and maybe a few that we don't like. You can't choose your crushes.
Sometimes they sneak up on you and — wow — who was that? Your crush might be a classmate, a neighbor, your best friend's crush, an older kid, a friend of your brother or sister, a sister or brother of a friend, or a teacher at your school. Your crush could even be on someone you don't know, like a professional athlete or a celebrity. When the crush is on someone you don't know, you might imagine what that person is like. Maybe you think about what it would be like to meet that person, even though you know you probably never will.
It's still fun to imagine! You might find yourself writing the name of your crush over and over again in a notebook or telling a good friend about that special person you like so much. Crushes might last a few days, weeks, months, or longer. If you feel strange around your crush, you're not alone. That's how most people feel around their crushes. You might feel shy or giddy or maybe even shy and giddy all at once! Some people can't remember what they want to say when they see their crush.
It ' s in the brain regions devoted to drive. This little factory that makes dopamine, giving you that feeling of elation and giddiness and euphoria, lies right near the brain regions that orchestrate thirst and hunger. They keep you alive, and that crush drives you to make a relationship.
It ' s a basic brain system that evolved four million years ago. But that dopamine rush is only going to happen as a reaction toward the right people. Your childhood and your experiences play a role. We tend to fall for people who are from the same socioeconomic background, our same general level of intelligence and good looks, same religious and social values, even social goals and economic goals.
When you ' re young, your love map hasn ' t been developing for very long. The girl who falls in love with the high school football star may end up years later falling in love with a mathematician, because she ' s a mathematician, too. Your love map is always developing as you get older.
There are some things we no longer want, and there are other things that we hadn ' t thought we wanted and realize we suddenly really do want. Crushes can happen at any age.
HF: We all have that drive. Men and boys fall in love faster than women and girls. Boys don ' t only fall in love faster, but they fall in love more often. When they find someone they have a crush on, they want to introduce them to friends and family sooner and get a real relationship going. Maybe it ' s reassuring to know that it ' s not just girls having crushes.
It ' s definitely boys, too. SH: What ' s your advice for when thinking about a crush too much is starting to affect your life? HF: You ' ve got to distract yourself. You can ' t just tell yourself not to think about a person, because that ' s going to make you think about them even more. Go and do other things with other people that are fun, and interesting, and new. Pick up a hobby. Spend more time with your friends.
Get some exercise. Pick up a new interest. You might also want to find out if the person likes back and see if it goes anywhere. Why then?! Alan Davies has a lot of money, which is probably why I got a crush on him. Or even want to. Thing is, a lot of people never give their cortex a chance. And to do with bollocks. No, really. Thankfully, our cortexes keep our rampant limbic brain in check for most of the time, but when it bubbles to the surface A recent study, though, found that women are a lot more likely to wear sexier clothes during their most fertile period.
On top of that, you know when you blush or stutter or act like an idiot in front of the person you fancy? The best way to deal with it is to avoid getting into the habit of having crushes all the time. Another strategy is finding an alternative activity that gives you dopamine.
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