Why argue so much

However, the differences can be summed up pretty simply. Either one partner wants more, or one partner wants less, or — in a worst-case scenario — both. Never have there been two people who had exactly the same standards in these areas. To one person, the other will always be a slob. To the slob, the other will be a control freak. Accepting these differences and that there are limits to the amount that the other is capable of changing, is the secret of solving this conundrum.

Or, on the other hand, arguing. False memory syndrome. Many arguments are not about the facts of what happened but how it is remembered. Everybody mythologises the past in order to put themselves in the best light. Be transparent with each other for less arguing. A major conflict is people spending so much time on Facebook and Instagram that they never talk to each other.

Make some fun Instagram posts together and agree to not get mad if your partner starts following hot fitness models. Instagram is so Jr. High its not even worth arguing about. Arguments in a marriage can be considered a good thing, as long as you both get over them and agree to move forward. And if that happens, you get to kiss and have great make-up sex. Your Privacy Rights. To change or withdraw your consent choices for Brides. At any time, you can update your settings through the "EU Privacy" link at the bottom of any page.

These choices will be signaled globally to our partners and will not affect browsing data. We and our partners process data to: Actively scan device characteristics for identification. Sometimes, an imperfect solution is better than no solution at all.

How not to argue There are lots of destructive things that people do in arguments that tend to make conflict worse rather than help resolve it. Try to avoid any of the following: Stonewalling.

This is a total withdrawal and refusal to discuss the issue. It usually leaves the conversation with nowhere to go. Commenting negatively, over and above the current problem. This behaviour often creates a very defensive response, and so can be the trigger for a real shouting match.

For example, sneering, belligerence or sarcasm. Aggressively defending and justifying self to the other person. Watch two of our senior counsellors talk about arguments in relationships: Future rows It can take a while to change negative behaviours and learn to disagree in a constructive and calm manner.

If you're finding it really difficult to stop arguing, then we can help: Relationship Counselling gives you a chance to talk over any difficult issues in a safe and confidential environment.

Your counsellor will help you to have a productive and calm conversation, and allow you both to make your perspective known. Try a webcam session with a trained Relate Counsellor. Will you help us? Please consider making a small donation. One of us to take the lead and the other to follow. Us to make a plan and carry that through together. I feel more like having sex if I win an argument than if I lose. Arguments often lead to or involve really good sex. If we argue, I rarely feel like having sex.

Having sex is often a sign that the argument is over and we're connected again. Once we're calm and have reached agreement, then I'm happy to have sex.

I feel bad about doing. Which doesn't make sense to me - I like to argue until things are sorted. I might do, to keep the peace. I feel fine about - it's a sign of love. I'm uneasy about - no one should have to give in. My partner is trying to overrule or somehow dominate me. Our relationship is healthy and thriving.